I was made for loving you
by Lysangelle
Summary: Sequel to 'I'll be here where the heart is'. Will Callie and Arizona get another step closer to be together again? Loads of Bailey.


Title: I was made for loving you

Author: lysangelle

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating: PG13/ T

Summary: Sequel to 'I'll be here where the heart is'. Will Callie and Arizona get another step closer to be together again? Loads of Bailey.

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

A/N: It took me forever, and a lot of support from my GF (who doesn't even watch the show LOL) to decide who would bend in this quandary. I know some of you won't agree with my choice, it's the nature of things in a case like this, but I hope the way I tried to fix things will be somewhat satisfying anyway.

I have basically no medical knowledge, just saying…

Dedication: to Tori, you're the Arizona to my Callie ;-) Je t'aime.

Miranda Bailey entered the lounge in search of some much needed coffee. She sighed as she found herself face to face with a devastated looking Callie Torres.

The tall woman was slouched in a chair, her feet on the coffee table.

Miranda had been aware of the tension between Callie and Arizona the previous weeks and since a few days she noticed they were just mostly avoiding each other, merely exchanging sad smiles when they crossed each other's way.

Talking only if a case brought them together.

With a resigned sighed she sat across the sulking woman and cleared her throat to get her attention.

"Oh! Good morning, Bailey." Callie said with a sad smile.

"Look, Torres. You know I don't do sensitive chats." Bailey started, pointing an index finger in the taller woman's direction. "But you've been a good friend more than once. And Arizona… well that annoying woman is hard not to like, the little tyke. And if you ever tell her I said that, I'll kill you!"

Callie chuckled, well aware of how easily her ex-girlfriend could charm even the most resisting of people. Like Bailey.

"The two of you are making it very hard for someone to NOT notice something is wrong. Even for someone's like me, who just go around this place trying to stay blind to all the personal inappropriate in work places stuff. So, go ahead, spill it. What happened?" Bailey ordered.

The ortho surgeon rubbed her forehead with a sigh. She wasn't sure she was up to this.

"We broke up." Callie said in a flat tone of voice.

Bailey wasn't surprised, only a break up would explain their current attitude.

"When?" She asked easing in the conversation.

"About a week ago. I'm not sure anymore, I feel like I lost all track of time." Callie answered sadly.

"Do you feel like telling me why?" Miranda asked, displaying her rarely seen sensitivity.

The orthopod snorted; "Because my biological clock started ticking so loudly I can't listen to anything or anyone else. Not even the most important person of my life" She answered self deprecatingly.

"Ah!" Bailey nodded. "Let me guess; Arizona doesn't want kids."

Callie only shook her head, unable to utter an answer.

"How are you feeling? Honestly." Bailey asked.

"Like a black hole took over the spot where my heart was." The tall woman answered through a tight throat.

"I don't understand, Bailey. Arizona would be such a great mother! Why doesn't she…? I just don't understand." Callie admitted sadly.

"Callie," Bailey sighed, deciding to give away a bit of herself in order to hopefully help her friend. "You know, I love my kid. I can't imagine a life without my boy. But some days, after long shifts or tough days, I just wish I could go home to a kid-free house."

Callie could see how hard it was for Bailey to confide in her and she just listened carefully.

"I wish for a quiet house, being able to take a long bath or just have an adult relaxing conversation. I can only imagine how much worse it is for Arizona, working with kids all day. She must just crave grown-up time." Bailey guessed.

"It sounds like you gave quite some thinking to the subject." Callie remarked quietly.

Bailey nodded seriously. "I did. Back when I was applying for the pediatric fellowship. Honestly, as grateful as I am for Arizona's support back then, I'm happy circumstances prevented me to accept the job. I'm not sure I'd have anything left for my own kid, after spending my days around sick children."

Callie mulled over that for a moment, the new point of view bringing some kind of understanding about Arizona's conviction.

The tall woman stood up and started pacing, anger at the situation and herself taking over.

"I feel like I'm cursed! The year I spent with Arizona has been amazing. It was the happiest I ever been. Ever! And now that irrepressible need for a kid appears and makes me loose her. The best thing that ever happened in my whole damn life."

"Why did you decide to break up if she's that important to you? Maybe you need to think about what your priorities are." Bailey suggested.

Callie shrugged like if the answer was just obvious.

"I basically asked her for what's probably the only thing she can't give me! She doesn't want kids and I want, no I need to have a baby. "

"Then why are you sounding like someone who gave up what they already got to go chasing after shadows?" Miranda Bailey asked compassionately.

Callie broke down then, tears running down her face and sobs shaking her tall form. Bailey stood up with another resigned sigh and awkwardly wrapped the taller woman in a hug.

'The things those kids make me do.' Bailey thought as she patted Callie's back tenderly.

The cafeteria was packed when Callie and Mark walked in, but the chocolate eyes instantly found the very familiar silhouette of Arizona, sitting alone in a corner.

Mark turned to see what captured his friend's attention so easily and he sighed.

"I can't believe it! You're equipped with a Robbins Radar or something?"

Callie took a deep breath.

"Mark, don't start ok?" She asked, her eyes feasting on the blonde's beauty while she could.

Sloan watched carefully as Arizona's eyes left the magazine she was reading to look around, feeling watched. He frowned as he noticed that the dark circles under the blue eyes only got more noticeable since he last saw the paeds surgeon.

He kept watching as blue eyes found chocolate ones and a tender but sad smile appeared on the beautiful blonde's face.

Turning his attention to Callie, his heart broke slightly as he saw the exact same expression on the olive skinned face of his BFF.

It seemed to the tall man that that instant lasted a full millennium and that a million words were said through a single smile.

The moment was broken by Callie's beeper going off. With difficulty she tore her eyes from Arizona's and checked the display of the offending device.

"911. Gotta go." The ortho surgeon said to Mark's intention as she captured the blonde's eyes again and shrugged at her before turning and leaving the cafeteria.

Mark pensively watched the Paeds surgeon who went back to reading her magazine, an untouched tray pushed to the side. He shook his head then walked to her table.

"You look like shit." He said simply as he sat next to the blonde.

"Thank you, Sloan." Arizona deadpanned.

"No honest, I'm a plastic surgeon." Mark started as he leaned forward to look more closely at the blonde's face. "Puffy eyes, dark circles, and you're too young to have that frown line between your eyebrows."

Arizona threw a blazing glare in the tall man's way.

"Ah there you are! I knew you were in there somewhere!" Mark exclaimed.

The paeds surgeon couldn't stop the light chuckle that escaped her mouth.

"How are you, Arizona?" Mark asked seriously.

Blue eyes met the compassionate gaze of her now ex-lover's best friend and filled with tears.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Mark simply remarked. "Callie feels the same way."

"Mark, please don't. I want her to be happy, if I know she's… If you tell me she hur… Then I won't be able to keep going." The blonde faltered.

"Arizona, I know you love her. And she loves you. And, honestly, you spoiled her for anyone else! She doesn't even look at the people who flirt with her!"

The blonde looked up at him with fire in her eyes at the mention of people flirting with Callie. Mentally, she cursed the hospital infamous rumor mill that probably already spread the news that her Calliope was available.

"You know she's my best friend, I want to see her happy." Mark started again. "And I think you're the only one who can, and deserves to make her happy. She deserves you and you deserve her. Please, I beg you, make her happy again."

Arizona sighed, if only he knew how badly she wanted to be able to make Callie the happiest woman in the world.

"Mark, I'm really grateful she has a great friend like you to take care of her, I really do." The blonde said in a painfully sincere voice. "It might sound strange in these circumstances, but I want to thank you for being there for her."

She swallowed hard as she could feel ever present tears gather again.

"But as much as I want to make her happy, I don't know how, not at this point." Arizona whispered in a tearful voice.

Sloan nodded his understanding. He pressed Arizona's hand in comfort before standing and heading out of the room, appetite lost now that he was equally hurting for both Callie and Arizona.

Miranda Bailey had heard of the last God like surgery Dr Callie Torres was to undergo that day and she cleared her schedule to be able to observe the procedure.

She checked her watch as she rapidly made her way to the observation gallery, relieved to see she was almost on time.

"Dr Robbins!" Bailey exclaimed as she spotted the blonde sitting in the back of the gallery, somewhat hunched down in her chair. "What are you doing here? And what does it look like you're hiding?

"What are you talking about, Bailey? I'm not hiding." Arizona answered but sliding down in her chair even more, until her bent legs now resting against the back of the chair in front of her.

"Whatever." The dark skinned woman retorted as she sat next to her old mentor, to Arizona's dismay. "So, our Dr Torres is being a rock star again, isn't she?"

The paeds surgeon smiled sadly; "When is she not?" She asked in a whisper.

Her eyes never leaving the complicate proceedings down in the OR, Bailey asked in a bored tone; "When are the two of you going to stop acting like kids and fix this situation? You know, so we all can go back to work without feeling like we're walking on egg shells?"

Arizona paled but instead of answering, she got up quickly and ran out of the gallery.

Miranda Bailey sighed and rolled her eyes; "Why does it always have to be me?"

She got up and went in search of the paeds surgeon. She spotted the blonde as an intern tried to stop her, probably to ask her some question. She heard Arizona utter a dark "Not now, please." before starting to walk away again.

"Dr. Robbins." Bailey called out without getting any answer. "Robbins!" She insisted.

Arizona didn't slow down as she headed down the hall and Bailey just cursed under her breath; "Damn butthead of a blonde, I hate running."

She started fast walking, refusing to run, as she started calling out again.

"Arizona Robbins! Freeze!"

The small blonde stopped instantly. Her military upbringing kicked in at the authoritarian tone, but didn't turn around.

Bailey reached the paeds surgeon and faced her, quite prepared to give her a piece of her mind. Then she noticed the slumped shoulders and the bent head that didn't do much to hide the flooded blue eyes.

"In there." The short woman only said, pointing to the close by on-call room.

Arizona didn't even think of resisting, a hiding place was exactly what she needed anyway.

The blonde entered the on-call room and sat heavily on a bed, bringing her legs up to hug them to herself.

Bailey followed her and, after closing the door, she spent a minute watching the usually perky woman who just looked so lost at the moment. Noticing the dark circles under her eyes and the pallor of her beautiful face.

"Are you even sleeping, Robbins?" Bailey just jumped in with both feet.

Arizona looked up in disbelief but seeing only worry on the dark skinned face she sighed and answered honestly;

"No, not without Callie to keep the nightmares at bay, I don't."

Bailey sighed and sat on the bed, putting a comforting hand on Arizona's arm as hot tears freely ran down the blonde's face. For the second time that day the dark skinned surgeon kept watch as she allowed a broken friend to cry for as long as she needed.

When the tears slowed, Bailey picked up the box of tissues from the close by night stand and handed it to the blonde.

"Thank you, Miranda." Arizona said hoarsely.

"Don't mention it." Bailey answered. "And I mean it; don't mention it, to anyone."

Arizona chuckled as she dry her eyes and blew her nose.

"I talk to Callie this morning." The short surgeon mentioned.

"You did?" Arizona jumped up. "How is she doing, really?" she asked quickly.

Bailey shook her head; "You two are going to be the death of me. She's doing about as good as you are."

Arizona's face darkened even more at the thought of Callie's hurting. She rubbed her face with both hands.

"Why can't I give her what she needs?" The blonde asked, sounding lost.

"I could do anything for her, but that is the hardest thing she could ask of me."

"I think she realizes that, Arizona, really." Bailey interjected.

Arizona looked up into the other woman's eyes.

"I was so sure my mind was definitively set, you know; no kids." The blonde started and Bailey knew she was in for another rant. "All I wanted was being able to come home to the woman I love, to spend some quality time with her, some grown up time. Doing adult things. And Callie was the one I wanted to do that with, for the rest of my life."

"Did that change?" Miranda asked.

"Not the part about wanting to be with her for the rest of my life." Arizona answered simply.

"Did something else change then?"

"I've been fighting with myself for days. Why can't I just agree to what she asks of me! I want her to be happy but I can't stand the thought of someone else making her happy!"

'Women!' Bailey thought as she allowed the rant to go on.

"Mark dropped that people are flirting with her, you know. And just thinking of her going out with someone else and I feel like my head is going to explode!"

Bailey chuckled and chuckled again when Arizona glared at her.

"How do you so it, Miranda? How are you managing be a great surgeon and a mom after hours?" the blonde asked seriously.

"Well it's not always easy, I admit." Bailey answered frankly. "Most of the time I can't wait for Tuck's bedtime. But you know, when it's your own child, it's different. And the joy they bring you… more often than not it makes you forget all the bad things you left behind at work."

Arizona smiled gratefully to the shorter woman. "Thank you, Miranda. For everything."

Bailey nodded curtly; "You're welcome."

"Just make sure it doesn't happen too often." She added with a slight smile.

Callie entered the exam room of the ER to find a young boy lying on the gurney, he looked about 5, his right leg was resting on a pillow, displaying a red and swollen knee. But he managed to twist his upper body in a way so he could keep coloring a picture in a well used coloring book.

She exchanged a look and a smile with the tall thin redhead mother that was standing near the gurney

"Hi, I'm Dr Torres; I'm going to have a look at your knee, ok?" Callie asked, remembering Arizona saying that addressing the child first help gaining their trust. The thought of her ex-lover sending a sharp pain through her whole body.

The boy looked up briefly and nodded his head; "Sure." He answered with the cutest slur.

"Cool!" the orthopod exclaimed as she pulled a rolling stool close to the bed and sat as she briefly checked the chart.

"That's a very nice picture you're working on there, Jason." Callie said as she put her gloves on.

"Yep, see? It's a tiger. They're Johanna's favorite. I'm doing it for her."

"Oh yeah, I like tigers too! And who's Johanna? Your girlfriend?" Callie asked to distract the young boy as she started prodding the swollen leg.

"Nope, it's mommy's girlfriend." the kid answered simply as he kept coloring his picture.

"Jason!" The blushing mother intervened.

Callie looked at her with a bright smile; "It's ok. Please, don't worry about it. It's very ok." She reassured the mother with a pointed look. The mother smiled at her picking on the hint easily.

"Nope, it's not really ok." Jason added, oblivious to the exchange between the two women. "She can't live with us even if we love her a whole big lot."

The dark haired woman quickly glanced at the still embarrassed mom standing on the other side of the bed, unsure what to answer to that.

The mother quietly explained; "She's from overseas, let's just say immigration stinks."

"Ah, I see." Callie answered as she turned back to her exam of the boy. "It's quite an unusual situation you're living there."

Jason's mother sighed; "Don't bet on that one. There are a lot of couples in the same situation out there. A lot of people who are ready to sacrifice everything just to be able to have a life with the person they love. But still it's not enough."

The woman's voice broke lightly on the last part and the dark haired surgeon looked at her, her own throat tight and tears burning at the back of her eyes.

"I'm really sorry." Callie whispered.

"Don't be." The woman shrugged with a shaky smile. "We're keeping hope; we'll make it work one day, right Jess?"

"You got that right mommy!" The precocious little boy exclaimed, making both women laugh.

Callie sat at the ER's desk, a magazine open before her. Once more she took on extra shifts in the pit, this time to avoid the free time and the over thinking it always brought with it.

The ortho surgeon wouldn't have said that the day was slow, not after what happened last time but she definitively would have said that the ER was empty.

The lack of activity made it all the more difficult for her to ignore the only patient being treated, or more exactly the doctor that was taking care of him.

Callie was grateful for the distance between the stall where the teenager was treated and the front desk as it allowed her to watch Arizona undetected.

"Ok, Mike, can you tell me again what happened? Slowly, this time." Arizona asked the 17 years old as she tried to calm down the overexcited boy.

"Told you already, I was hanging out with friends and started feeling terrible stomach pains." The obnoxious kid answered with a snarl.

A quick look at his eyes and Arizona addressed Reed who was on her service that day. "Have a full drugs screening done, as soon as possible."

"Mike," the paeds surgeon tried to address the boy again, "did you take something? Drugs, or drunk something strange?"

"No! I'm not a junkie, lady!" the boy answered as Arizona started palpating his abdomen.

"Could someone slip you something without you knowing?" the blonde persisted.

"Listen," the kid raised his voice, his temperament rising. "I told you I'm no fucking junkie!"

Arizona gave up the physical exam and got closer to the head of the bed. Leaning over the bed to look the kid in the eyes.

"Listen yourself, Mr. Harris." Arizona started trying to make him see the seriousness of his situation. "Your eyes show clearly that some kind of drug entered your system and it looks like you're having quite a bad reaction to it. So I strongly suggest you tell me what you took if you did it consciously. It'd help us safe a lot of time treating you!"

"You bitch, I told you already I no junkie!" The teenager all but screamed as he got up the bed and made Arizona back up against the close-by wall, a knife suddenly appearing in his hand.

"When are you going to start listening to me!" He asked as he brought the knife between them.

"When you won't be stoned out your ass, punk!" A low voice said from behind the kid.

Mike Harris instinctively turned around, raising his armed hand in reaction but he didn't have the time to hit as a strong hand closed around his wrist making him squeal in pain and drop the knife.

"Calliope!" Arizona intervened. "Let him go, you're hurting him."

Callie snarled, "That's the point, Arizona, he was attacking you!"

"Karev!" Arizona yelled as she saw the resident in the distance.

Alex quicken his pace as he noticed the situation, it's not everyday that someone could witness Dr Torres keeping a young strong man at bay with just a hand.

"Karev, can you take care of Mr. Harris, here? He's a bit out of hand, Dr Reed will explain to you what happened." Arizona said calmly but determinedly.

"Of course, Dr Robbins. No problem." Alex answered.

"Thank you, let me know when the results of the tests are back." The paeds surgeon added before turning to Callie. "Now, let go."

Alex smirked when Callie instantly obeyed, he loved how badass his attending could be.

Arizona roughly grabbed Callie's arm, pulling the taller woman with her to the nearest exam room. The ortho surgeon was so stunned she didn't even think to resist.

She pushed the unresisting woman in the room and slammed the door behind herself.

"What do you think you were doing out there, Torres!" Arizona exploded. "You could have been hurt! or worse!"

"Me?" An even more stunned Callie exclaimed. "You were the one he had against a wall, waiving a knife under your nose!"

"He's just a kid! A terrified kid, he wouldn't have hurt me!" the blonde retorted loudly.

Callie huffed; "He's a terrified kid with a knife! And stoned up to his eyes! There's no way to know what he would have done to you!" She answered, her voice breaking on the last words.

Arizona sighed.

"Besides, I didn't break him." Callie added at last, sounding like a five years old.

The next second, the caramel skinned woman found herself with an armful of blond spitfire. It took her half of another second for her to overcome the surprise and tighten the hug and bury her face in blond strands.

"What am I going to do with you Calliope?" Arizona whispered against the taller woman's upper chest. "I was so scared. I couldn't take something happening to you."

Callie sighed, savoring the contact of the woman she missed so much since that fateful night.

"Why do you think I jumped that kid, Arizona?" the taller woman started, pulling away to look deep into the blue eyes that she couldn't live without.

"Don't you see? This couple of weeks without you killed me! Seeing you in there… I'd rather get hurt than saying anything happen to you."

She watched as blue eyes filled with tears, then bringing both hands up to cup the beautiful face she bared her heart.

"Arizona Victoria Robbins, I just cannot live without you. Baby or no baby, Spain or no Spain. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm sorry I thought you weren't enough."

Tears were now running down the pale face of the blonde.

"You're the love of my life, Arizona." Callie kept going, needing to say all those things she realized over their separation. "I don't know how I could even have thought I would be able to find someone else to have a child with. I haven't even been able to look at anyone else in the time we were apart! Mark has been pulling his hair out because of me."

Arizona gave out a teary burst of laughter at that last part.

"Callie…" She started, sweeping her tears away.

"Don't call me Callie, you know I don't like when you do." The dark haired woman interrupted with a pout.

Arizona smiled tenderly.

"Calliope." The blonde corrected and chuckled when she got an energetic nod of the dark head in response.

"Calliope, I still can't stand to know I would be the one standing in your way to happiness." The shorter woman explained with a frown.

"What happiness?" Callie exclaimed getting slightly frustrated at her inability to find the words to explain her state of mind better. "Arizona, how could I hope to be happy if I spend the rest of my life looking for the other parent to my child? Knowing no one will ever compare to you? You spoiled me for everyone else, woman."

Arizona snorted, "You'd find someone else, Calliope." Forgetting to mention Mark told her the same thing before in the day.

"No, I won't Arizona. Because I don't want to. I want you." Callie answered forcefully.

"God I want you too!" Arizona exclaimed as she hugged the taller woman to her tightly. "I want you so much. I need you so much!"

The dark haired woman sighed in relief: "I missed you so fucking much, Arizona!"

The two women clutched at each other for long moments, afraid to let go of each other in case this was just a dream.

Arizona gathered her strength to ask the painful question.

"What about babies? Will you end up hating me if you don't have them?" She finally asked in a tiny voice.

"No, baby. I won't ever hate you. I might need time but I'll get over it, as long as I have you." Callie answered honestly.

Arizona stared deep in dark eyes looking for any sign of doubt. "You're sure."

"Yeah, I'm sure. After all, not so long ago I was finding a spitting baby to be ewwwy." The taller woman joked.

The blonde smiled, looking thoughtful.

"What are you thinking about?" Callie asked in a whisper.

"About something Teddy told me a few days ago," Arizona answered. "That sometimes the new life you find is better than the life you lost."

Callie frowned; "Huh? What does that mean?"

The blonde smiled up at the woman she loved more than anything.

"It means it might be time for me to make my own compromises if I want to keep the love of my life."

The shorter woman chuckled at the lost look on Callie's face.

"Look, what I mean to say is," Arizona took a deep breath, "if you give me some time maybe I'll end up liking the idea of a life with you and our child."

The caramel skinned woman stared at her unbelievingly for a second.

"You're serious?" Callie asked cautiously.

"Honestly I can't promise you anything, Calliope. But you make me want things I never wanted before." Arizona admitted. "And that time without you… God, I never hurt so much before in my life. So yeah, I think… maybe"

Callie burst out laughing.

"I'm all in favor of maybe, can we agree on maybe?"

The blonde laughed in turn.

"We're officially agreeing on maybe."

They both chuckled in relief.

"I have a last question." Arizona whispered.

"Yeeees?"

"Can I kiss you now?" The blonde asked with a smile.

Callie answered by taking her love's lips in a tender kiss, full of promises.

"Let's go home." Arizona suggested short of breath.

Callie smiled as she buried her face in her lover's neck.

"I am home."

That's it folks!

I hope I didn't disappointed too many of you. Making a choice about how to resolve this issue was incredibly difficult. I somehow came to a kind of compromise, it might not be totally satisfying, I admit. But I couldn't make Callie gave up totally on the hope of having a baby and still I couldn't either have Arizona accept to have a kid for the wrong reasons. Boy was that tough.  
Hope you enjoyed it in any case.


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